I chose to breastfeed again. I breastfed William and even though it only lasted three months, I loved it! When breastfeeding William my milk supply started slowing down slowly. He was on formula and breast milk and by three months my milk was completely gone! I felt horrible, ended up with depression and it really just wasn't a nice time.
Nobody ever told me that you can save your milk supply by expressing even if there's nothing coming out to encourage the breasts to make more milk. I only had a manual pump back then so it probably would've been exhausting anyway.
When I found out I was pregnant again I knew straight away that I was going to breastfeed and I'm determined to do so for at least six months, preferably a year. Maybe I'm slightly obsessed, haha, but it's just such a beautiful, natural thing.
Brendan is now over two months old and still hasn't had a drop of formula milk BUT what a 'painful' two months it has been! I feel like I was really getting tested.
Let's talk about what I did to try and make sure my milk doesn't dry up first.
I googled foods and drinks which can slow down breast milk supply and I avoid all of those. I drink plenty of water, I always have though. I don't use a dummy/pacifier. I heard that when using a dummy, sometimes your baby uses it for comfort too much and sucks the dummy when he/she could be on your breast which would encourage breast milk supply, so.. I don't use a dummy. I also only feed with my left breast right now and express from my right, which means my body actually produces double the milk! I'll explain why later.

As I said, I really felt like I was getting tested. There were days where I really could've gave up breastfeeding and gave him a dummy.
People always ask me if it's painful. I know a lot of mum's stop after a week or two because they find it painful. Is it painful? Yes. Very painful sometimes BUT that only last a week or so and then things just get a million times easier from there. You won't even need to think about what you're doing. Just 'whip it out' and get on with it, haha.
Needless to say I was SO excited to get by the painful bit! But that wasn't the end. Brendan's tongue got really white and it turned out he had thrush which he then passed to me. The pain is horrible! It hurts when anything touches your nipples, they crack and its just really painful. Whenever it was time to feed Brendan I was putting it off for as long as possible because it hurt so much. Then all my teeth became sore and I later realised that it was because of me grinding my teeth so much when he was latched on.
After creams and gels and painful weeks later it FINALLY cleared up! I was so happy :)

Then a few days later I got a tiny, little, red lump on my groin. I had no idea what it was. I went to the doctors, got prescribed antibiotics, etc. as it was a boil starting to form. For those of you reading this who never had a boil, I really hope you never get one! I never knew something like that could cause so much pain. I was literally crying, I couldn't sleep at nights, I couldn't even hold Brendan, which meant I had to express and then Graeme would feed him. Because the boil was in my groin I couldn't walk properly, sit properly or even sleep and as mentioned above I couldn't feed Brendan. Thankfully Graeme took a few days off work to look after me and the kids. It was really frustrating because I wasn't actually unwell, I was just in a lot of pain. The boil eventually cleared up too! It's still healing right now but it's not painful.

I could do everything properly again, woohoo! I cleaned the whole house, organised it, decorated for autumn!
I forgot to mention that when I had thrush, my right breast was always worse than my left for some reason.
After I was back to normal I started feeding again, etc and then boom.. my right nipple cracked so much it was actually bleeding, so I now have to feed on my left side and express from my right.

There are days where Brendan uses me as a dummy and it can be truly exhausting. I could've gave in sooooo many times but I am so determined to give him the best start in life.

Oooh, let's not forget about the funny looks you can also get in public. I think it's really weird. Some people can be really funny when it comes to breastfeeding. It used to make me feel uncomfortable but now it doesn't even bother me anymore. I feed Brendan anywhere. It's so silly because breastfeeding mums seem to get more funny looks than mums feeding their kids formula. I'm not against formula at all by the way, I just think it's really weird how it all works. If you're breastfeeding and you're nervous about breastfeeding in public, don't be. Your baby is more important than someone 'staring'. Sometimes people just look because they find it beautiful :) and if anyone ever tries to stop you, just remind them that it's illegal in the UK to try and stop a mother feeding her baby.



Despite a very painful few months and what I had wrote above I don't regret choosing to breastfeed. I think it's a beautiful, natural thing. It's so much easier than getting up in the middle of the night and making bottles.. it's the perfect temperature, perfect nutrients.. everything! I would encourage breasfteeding to every mum! So many mums out there are scared about the pain or breastfeeding in public but just like everything else it becomes a natural thing after a week or two and you won't even know you're doing it.

Love, Daria xoxo